Oh man..today today is the day after t-cher's day...everything seems to be ok and i finally nv rush to sch today which i usually did.After going back to c my ex-classmates and phua, i seemed to have like got motivation to do my stuff again...dunno y...it seems that even we all go different ways..the spirit is still there...everyone was still the same..onli change in their appearance..i still stay the same,quiet as ever...haiz...but it was quite a nice trip back to jss...i got to c some t-chers but i nv talk to them...and ya..i saw a nice video clip made by some of my ex-classmates.It was soo gd, i was laughing my head off...eugene is really a veri gd actor..but is over..haha...all i can remember is still that video clip..i reall wish i can get my hands on that and put it in my com. As for today...i finally nv bring my usual file to sch, but instead bring another file for PW..speaking abt PW..i think i really hate it alot. And my grp was still not veri like gd, always someone absent, n today shar is missing. Haiz..really wat happen to her..like nv c her for the past few days..lol..forget abt tt. Everything went as normal and the sch ends at 5.25pm..so after tt i go top-up my card n went home..no big deal. IT was only at night then something went wrong...i saw a cockroach on my bed man...i was like disgusted. OMG, how i going to slp tonite..n i was also wondering i'm deserved to be called a guy or not..cos even though 1 hr has passed and the roach is deadand its body is removed..i'm still abit scared of slping on my bed.Ahh..i really feel like not slping tonite anymore but my eyes are veri tired now. Too bad..think i can only slp on tt bed...OH man..i think i'm going crazy soon. Duno y i think tis way but i feel like i missing out somethings and i dunno wat is it and i seem to be either isolating myself and keeping veri quiet or feeling veri..lonely?..i jus feel that my heart i really empty, all i was doing is study n study..i seem to be veri dull like i was in the past..no change...but onli that the feeling of emptiness grew alot more...Then talkign abt hw..i really dunno how to write that AQ ....it was really so hard to me, it was like the 2nd time i see such kind of ppr appearing in front of me. I couldn't catch no ball, no matter how i tried to..only manage to write 2 paragraph in 2 hrs..can't really see wat the qn wants and how to ans...nvm...after going back to jss, i jus realised that even after my OP, i still need to prepare for AO chn.. sick man, still have to do chn..but at least it's better than calling me to do gp..but i think that i really have no talent in mastering languages. So 7 days later, co concert will start..after that is prepare promo(1/10/04)...then prepare OP..then prepare AO chn.haiz..seems like alot of thigns to do and i should start to revise now. Now i beginning to feel that everyone is catching up but i still not moving. The 'pressure' is like becoming greater n greater..so much that maybe it makes me to start worrying abt the results i will be getting. Sometimes i really feeel like giving up man..being the only one in 4/1 to make it to JJ, i'm like the only one representing them and if i like did badly i like feel sry to them..dunno y... sometimes really feel like dying, jus like wat david said to me last time. But he only experienced this kind of feeling after graduating and i got tis feeling eversince sec 3?..not sure..veri long time..alot of ppl nv noe wat i really thinking abt cos i sometimes oso dunno wat i really thinking. i sometimes seems like to be a different person. Now i really hope that someone can make me stop thinking abt such things..it veri like..dunno how to say..always thinking so many unneccessary things. Then i was also like everytime veri troubled n sad..really dunno y i liddat...can't seem to cheer up, i like really can't find a meaning in my life..lol..no interest no anything, think even things like getting or gf or something oso seems hopeless to me. Haiz..now late liao...eyes really veri tired..die..think mus really go to tt bed n slp.no choice..hope i still appear normal tml..Sian...