hmm...march is ending...left 5 days to april...tis week got few changes...shar, 1 of my pw grp member left sch n go to poly, n 1 more guy soon ping joined us...haiz...so sad...now onli left 3 pw grp members..1 haf left the class...1 left the sch..it seems ppl ard me haf alot of problems...either i haf too little or maybe i'm jus think too much again... den leh, now really no life liao, maybe at least got time to msn, besides tt really no time to watch tv n do other stuff...so sian...now com repaired oso nothing to do...run so slow...hmm..den nowadays really feel like a loner, maybe bcos tt new guy keep saying i'm 1..haha..but nvm..to me wat he's said is quite true oso, i seldom tok mah..but wat else i ca do? always got difficulty find things to tok abt..sometimes really feels tt either i'm a veri hard to understand person, or i'm too dull...haiz...4get it...now time is running short, mus start piahing hw liao...mus cut dwn the time used outside...den today wah sian...feel depress...always dunno y i feel so hopeless abt myself loh...suddenly i like jus lost my motivation due to smth...n tt smth leh...cannot say..haiz...i find tt some things cannot be said loh...but if dun say ur heart hor feel like veri heavy...so leh..feel so sandwiched everytime...sometimes i really hate myself for thinking such things loh...either i too free, or work until like no meaning of working so hard...den start thinking all these...den recently dunno y, cp n wq seems wants to noe abt wat happen to me n ls last yr...haiz..but nvm..it's over...now leh even worse...everytime go out wif jf, wm, yy n xl...it seems tt i still got difficulty tokin...den start to feel tt i shouldn't go out wif them liao..dunno y...it seems tt there is something tt is forcin me towards isolation...but then dun feel like isolating myself...so contradicting leh...n tt thing...cannot say oso...seems tt my mind is either too simple or too complex..veri hard to find someone who can understands me...now think tt i oso beginning not to trust ppl..haiz...y i always liddat one...seems tt even small simple things can always jus affect the way i feel n think towards certain things or ppl...haiz..wat's happening to me sia...haha...now starting to feel veri stressed up...den today leh..reject jf's invitation to kbox...hmm...excuse is no $..but leh..real reason is another...haiz...sometimes wonder y i'm liddat..sometimes lie to ppl...hide my feelings n pretend everything is fine...but in fact actually feel veri sad n lonely, n maybe oso others...now again...at home...alone...haiz...always feel tt im being abandoned by ppl...dunno y...sian..wait scarly i becum outcast sia...den tt's it!!! nvm..nx time den tok..still got alot of things to do..esp endless amt of hw...still got maths tut/asgnmt n chem tut to piah finish...arhh...think i'll jus ignore other things n concentrate on studies for now...