Ok. Today is 25/1/10. I have exactly 100 days left before my first paper of my examination starts. Yesterday was quite an enjoyable one, but also quite tiring. I met 2 people whom I have not seen for more than 1 year. I got an sms which i thought is good but in the end it turns out to be nothing, or maybe still got something which I'm still uncertain about. I walk until tired yesterday.
So far, I can confirm with myself that my insomnia is not that serious.I just need to take more time before my mind eventually shut down on its own. As for my skin infection, think it should be healed, but I don't think it's fully healed. There is still some patches with different colour from the skin itself. Hope there will be no releapse. I had enough of such nonsense.
Now, I have about 6 months before my birthday, which also means I have 6 months to train to clear IPPT which I don't think I can. Hopefully I can find a way that don't need me to go for all those stuff again. Kinda annoying somehow, but then it forces me to train. It can be a side income actually, but I can't reach that standard yet, not even once in my lifetime.
Somehow, I always have alot of things to type here during the period between I lie on bed and before my mind shuts down. But when I try to type here, eventually I will find myself nothing much to type here. Somehow, I really wonder if I will find the right one. Alot of things I still not confirm, don't dare to confirm, don't dare to admit, not sure, don't know, don't care, not interested, don't bother, never check, never find out, ignore...
Hopefully this year will be a favourable year for me. Hope to get what I really want which I think is super hard but not impossible, just need even more effort than what I doing now. Hope my mind can take it and I still be normal, can talk can walk can do normal things. I hope that my hope is not too big. Even if it is too big, having some part of it will be quite contented for me, I guess. Got a feeling I reaching my limit, with all these insomnia, aches and infections...
So far, I can confirm with myself that my insomnia is not that serious.I just need to take more time before my mind eventually shut down on its own. As for my skin infection, think it should be healed, but I don't think it's fully healed. There is still some patches with different colour from the skin itself. Hope there will be no releapse. I had enough of such nonsense.
Now, I have about 6 months before my birthday, which also means I have 6 months to train to clear IPPT which I don't think I can. Hopefully I can find a way that don't need me to go for all those stuff again. Kinda annoying somehow, but then it forces me to train. It can be a side income actually, but I can't reach that standard yet, not even once in my lifetime.
Somehow, I always have alot of things to type here during the period between I lie on bed and before my mind shuts down. But when I try to type here, eventually I will find myself nothing much to type here. Somehow, I really wonder if I will find the right one. Alot of things I still not confirm, don't dare to confirm, don't dare to admit, not sure, don't know, don't care, not interested, don't bother, never check, never find out, ignore...
Hopefully this year will be a favourable year for me. Hope to get what I really want which I think is super hard but not impossible, just need even more effort than what I doing now. Hope my mind can take it and I still be normal, can talk can walk can do normal things. I hope that my hope is not too big. Even if it is too big, having some part of it will be quite contented for me, I guess. Got a feeling I reaching my limit, with all these insomnia, aches and infections...
posted by chanjk at
12:49:00 am
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