Today is 26/2/10. I just skipped my last FM lesson for today. It seems that right from the start of this year 2010, nothing seems to go well for me. Currently, doing my RT phase 2, 3 times a week, monday, wednesday and saturday, scheduled to end on 17/3/10. Besides the body aches and pain from this, my wisdom tooth is also causing me pain. But then the earliest day i can remove it is after that date.
As for emotional pain, i hope my heart will turn into ice so i feel nothing at all. Well done to myself, 2 more rejections this year. It's been a week and somehow i still don't really want to see them. I really don't know how to face them, or even talk to them. Should I go later on and pass the stuff, or should i just wait for monday to come and pass the stuff to her? Really don't feel like seeing her at this moment in time. I think most probably i will just stuck at home as usual unless I don't want to be at home. One more irritating thing which resurface again. My mouse keep getting stuck at one corner of the screen. It has been quite a while when i last encounter such problem.
So far, what i heard from my friends doing this RT is that if , after 5 years of RT and i still don't pass, I will get charged. Sounds like there is no way to avoid this unless I pass... What a life.. After 10 years, besides still trying to pass this IPPT thing, i'm still trying other things but one thing i think i should do, at least for now i guess, is to (think of) staying single and stop looking for the 'right one'. Seems so hopeless. 6 rejections in total. Most of them get attached after 2-3 years, seeems like i'm a failure. Still single and alone. Sometimes feel like buring the whole forest and not just one tree...
As for my body, something seems not right, especially when i run. My face keep turning red after running and I feel so breathless. Not sure if i'm running too fast, breath wrongly or just something wrong with my lungs/breathing system. My skin disease will be another problem. On and off... Don't know why so many problems...
Prelims will start next monday. Finals will be in May. Hopefully before i start my exams, i can get rid of my wisdom tooth. After exams, hopefully can get some temp work and also get out of SG for a week or so during July, like last year. Hope every year I can do this, even if no one accompany me to travel. At least if no one remember me, i still remember myself. After holidays, either part time job and 'full time' studies, or i switch to part time studies which i don't think i will do unless I really don't want to see my usual friends in school anymore.
Today, listen quite a few emo songs.
Nothing at all, Better man, She's the one, Only love, My immortal, an jing, kai bu liao kou, wo bu pei, gui ji, duan le de xuan, big big girl, everytime, xin tai ruan, yi ge ren sheng huo, ji shi ben, ning meng cao de wei dao, something stupid, bai se feng che, jie kou, jue bu neng shi qu ni, yan huo de ji jie.
Think I will go sleep now after listening all these... Always will have alot of thoughts and memories when I try to sleep...
As for emotional pain, i hope my heart will turn into ice so i feel nothing at all. Well done to myself, 2 more rejections this year. It's been a week and somehow i still don't really want to see them. I really don't know how to face them, or even talk to them. Should I go later on and pass the stuff, or should i just wait for monday to come and pass the stuff to her? Really don't feel like seeing her at this moment in time. I think most probably i will just stuck at home as usual unless I don't want to be at home. One more irritating thing which resurface again. My mouse keep getting stuck at one corner of the screen. It has been quite a while when i last encounter such problem.
So far, what i heard from my friends doing this RT is that if , after 5 years of RT and i still don't pass, I will get charged. Sounds like there is no way to avoid this unless I pass... What a life.. After 10 years, besides still trying to pass this IPPT thing, i'm still trying other things but one thing i think i should do, at least for now i guess, is to (think of) staying single and stop looking for the 'right one'. Seems so hopeless. 6 rejections in total. Most of them get attached after 2-3 years, seeems like i'm a failure. Still single and alone. Sometimes feel like buring the whole forest and not just one tree...
As for my body, something seems not right, especially when i run. My face keep turning red after running and I feel so breathless. Not sure if i'm running too fast, breath wrongly or just something wrong with my lungs/breathing system. My skin disease will be another problem. On and off... Don't know why so many problems...
Prelims will start next monday. Finals will be in May. Hopefully before i start my exams, i can get rid of my wisdom tooth. After exams, hopefully can get some temp work and also get out of SG for a week or so during July, like last year. Hope every year I can do this, even if no one accompany me to travel. At least if no one remember me, i still remember myself. After holidays, either part time job and 'full time' studies, or i switch to part time studies which i don't think i will do unless I really don't want to see my usual friends in school anymore.
Today, listen quite a few emo songs.
Nothing at all, Better man, She's the one, Only love, My immortal, an jing, kai bu liao kou, wo bu pei, gui ji, duan le de xuan, big big girl, everytime, xin tai ruan, yi ge ren sheng huo, ji shi ben, ning meng cao de wei dao, something stupid, bai se feng che, jie kou, jue bu neng shi qu ni, yan huo de ji jie.
Think I will go sleep now after listening all these... Always will have alot of thoughts and memories when I try to sleep...
posted by chanjk at
1:11:00 am
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