Nowadays I'm trying to concentrate but then something seems to be disturbing me somehow. Nothing related to studies, but to relationships and my opinion/view towards people, conflicting views.

Somehow, i feel that there are certain things i can't really let go even though i know i must because i really stand no chance at all. Sometimes seeing them together, i feel and may behave weird. I got 2 very different conflicting views/thoughts. On one hand because of some personal reasons i dun want them to get together, but on the other hand i want them to get together and again, for some personal reasons. Sometimes i wish i dun want to see them at all, but their sms always make me feel that they are together and i really cannot take it. Moreover this is not the first time i feeling this way. I have contradicting views on this and i really cannot say/express no matter what happens.

Sometimes i really really wanted something but then when i ask myself so what if i have it, then i feel actually it's nothing. Furthermore i already tell others i will not have it at least for a certain duration and i can't make myself eat up my own words. I can't tell this to anyone as saying it out will automatically let them know how i feel / view certain things and stuff and people. But if i dun tell i feel very, i dunno wat to say. Maybe i can say that i'm trying hard to suppress my feelings. No one can help. I believe the only way out is to change my own thinking but it really takes time. I'm beginning to feel that i'm getting very/over sensitive towards some things which people may not feel. Hopefully after writing this down here, i can just temporary ignore this issue. Just need to control my wishful thoughts about this person.

HAIZ! Hope after i will feel better after getting my haircut later.